Cuba Gooding Junior and David Harewood

December 1^st 2006

JEMIMA

I need to find Cuba Gooding Junior and fuck his brains out. Darling it's a must... I'm staying at my cousin's in Hancock Park and we got a dvd to while away the evening- something called Shadowboxer. A very weird movie- almost like the director was schizophrenic- I mean there were some moments of brilliance and then there were moments of true badness- and the cast- Helen Mirren was great- especially as she had a couple of sex scenes with Cuba( I need to suck on his cigar for at least an hour!)- she does love a good old rumble does Helen- I once saw her in a play at the National or somewhere- no recollection of what it was but she wore a tight skirt with a slit up the back and I was in row two and I promise you I could see her pubes from the back- you know little curlies between the legs escaping from her panties...anyway. she was good, Cuba was outstanding- he carried the film but the rest of the cast were either in another film entirely or something- some poor girl had to wear such an awful wig it just didn't make sense- why would anyone bring such attention to themselves with such a hideous thing on their head- and she's supposed to be in hiding- seriously it was like one of those Orthodox Jewish things in ash blonde and she even wore her disguise when they were alone in the house. I mean those things itch. Other truly bad things were her labour- her waters broke she yelled pushed once and there was a baby- I mean artistic licence is one thing but that was just ludicrous. And her finger banging scene while fantasisng over Cuba's arse was true comedy. But but but Cuba shone in a new light- not just because he was sexy but he steered a straight course through very choppy waters. Maud you need to find out where he hangs out. Who do we know that knows him- I want him to split my beaver so bad I am going to have to finger bang myself- hurry over so we can get brekkie xxxx the honourable Jemsy jems

MAUD

Never mind Cuba Gooding – do you think your cousin could squeeze a little one – that hotel you suggested I stay at turned out to be some sleezy motel – I mean what possessed you to think it was the in place for young Hollywood….

JEMIMA

allo allo- yes never mind Cuba- just heard David Harewood is in town- he's in that film with Leo and co- Blood Diamond- and there's a premier lah lah lah. Now David may not have the profile here yet but he will- he is one of the most mesmerising talented actors on this planet. I swear I mean this professionally although he also has skin to die for- pure velvet ahhhh. Anyway, lots of rumours surround him and I have to tell you they all be true( heard the one about the anafuckingconda?) and sadly for us girlies he is now settled with kiddies so no more fox loving bliss nest hunting a la Harewood. We shall just have to admire his acting talents from now on. Sad sad sad is a poor girl's pussy. Oh well... so now what the fuck are you doing in that motel? No one told you to stay there!Come over pronto- cousins are out and I am still in bed. Come and snuggle. And question of the day- why do they call it an eight ball? ping pong ping don't bring coffee I neeed to sleep see you soooon luv the Hon jemmy jammy knickers

MAUD

Never met David – but didn’t he have the hots for you oh so long ago – who is he playing in the movie? Anyway am on my way out of this motel – good job I only have one piece of luggage –although some of my things have gone missing – swear I saw some hooker wearing that nice Marc Jacobs jacket you gave me for Christmas !!!. by the way – I think I may have landed a small job – all because of my English accent – some young producer guy ( he also mistakenly thought the motel was a hot spot) suggested that I could assist him…see you in five!